Saturday, December 12, 2015

What are the most memorable quotes from 'The Empire Strikes Back'?

C-3PO might have some of the most memorable quotes in "The Empire Strikes Back." … That is, next to Darth Vader's five-word Big Reveal at the end of the classic 1980 sequel to "Star Wars."

Just like I said about Chewbacca in my detailed review of "Empire," Threepio isn't a human character, but he and the Wookiee have just as much personality and are as expressive as any of the actors in "Empire."

Check out the way Chewie darts his eyes at Han Solo when he says "it's not my fault" the hyperdrive on the Millennium Falcon isn't working (again!). It's as if the co-pilot is thinking: "Can you believe this guy?" And then the Wookiee grabs his head with both paws in frustration, just as any of us would in such a dire situation!

Threepio is as much of a fuss-budget and a doomsayer as we was in "Star Wars." His endless rambling — and not to mention the way gets under Solo's skin — cut the tension in "Empire."

The brilliance of the Ben Burtt's award-winning sound effects for Threepio's buddy, the lovable R2-D2, is how expressive the astromech droid can be -- whether it's his excitement over Luke Skywalker lifting him in the air through the Force or Artoo giving an obviously snarky comeback to Threepio.
I adore the expression and smile actress Carrie Fisher gives Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew)
in this casual shot on the Cloud City set of "The Empire Strikes Back."

"The Empire Strikes Back" is every bit as quotable as its predecessor. (Check out this CCC post with "my favorite quotes from 'Star Wars.'")

(And no, for the record, I didn't pause my DVR every so often to get the quotes in the exact order as I did when I prepared to write my post about the sexual innuendo-laced scenes of Princess Leia's rescue from the Death Star detention block and the Big Three and Chewbacca in the trash compactor. Leia's order to Solo embodies her take-no-crap mindset: "Into the garbage chute, flyboy!")

And now, without any further fanboy rambling, here are the most memorable quotes from "The Empire Strikes Back"…

"Don't worry about Master Luke. I'm sure he'll be all right. He's quite clever, you know … for a human being." — Threepio

"And I thought they smelled bad … on the outside." — Han Solo

"Laugh it up, fuzzball." — Han Solo to Chewbacca

"I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain." Princess Leia to Han Solo

This quote from Leia is such a great, sic-fi-laced cutdown. Yet Solo is only offended by the last part!:
Leia: "Why, you stuck-up … half-witted … scruffy-looking … nerf-herder!"
Solo: "Who's scruffy-looking?"

"He is as clumsy as he is stupid. General, prepare your troops for a surface attack." — Darth Vader about Admirial Ozzel coming out of lightspeed too close to Hoth.

Dak (Luke Skywalker's Snowspeeder gunner): "Right now I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself.
Skywalker: "I know what you mean."

"Wars do not make one great." — Yoda

"Would it help if I got out and pushed?" — Leia
"It might." — Solo

"Never tell me the odds!" – Solo to Threepio

"Apology accepted, Captain Needa." — Vader

"The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi." — Emperor Palpatine

"I have a bad feeling about this." — Leia

Threepio: "Sir, it's quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable."
Solo: "Not entirely stable. I'm glad you're here to tell us these things. Chewie! Take the Professor in back and plug him into the hyperdrive!"

"Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited." — Leia to Solo

"No disintegrations." — Vader to Boba Fett

Yoda: "So certain, are you? Always with you, it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?"
Skywalker: "Master, moving stones around is one thing, but this is … totally different!"
Yoda: "No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned." Skywalker: "Alright, I'll give it a try."
Yoda: "No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try."

Skywalker: "I don't believe it."
Yoda: "That is why you fail." 

"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?" — Yoda

"You like me because I’m a scoundrel. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life." — Solo

Solo: "We don't have time to discuss this as a committee!"
Leia: "I am not a committee!"

"Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler! You’ve got a lot of guts coming here after what you pulled." — Lando Calrissian to Solo when he first sees him

"Well, what do we have here?" — Calrissian upon seeing Leia for the first time

"You know, that ship saved my life quite a few times. She’s the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy." — Calrissian

"How rude!" — Threepio 

"Luke, I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader." — Obi-Wan Kenobi

"Luke. Don't give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side." — Kenobi

"Strong is Vader. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can." — Yoda

"Something wrong with your droid?" — Calrissian

"He's no good to me dead." — Boba Fett

"This deal is getting worse all the time." — Calrissian about Darth Vader changing his demands

"The Force is with you, young Skywalker. … But you are not a Jedi yet." — Vader

"Impressive. Most impressive." — Vader

"I’m terribly sorry about all this. After all, he’s only a Wookiee." — Threepio to Calrissian

"I'll never join you." — Skywalker to Vader

Vader: "If only you knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."
Skywalker: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
Vader: "No, I am your father."
Skywalker: "No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!"
Vader: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true!"

Threepio (as R2-D2 drags him across the floor of the Millennium Falcon): "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
(Artoo bleeps an inquiry)
Threepio: "Of course I've looked better."

"Punch it!" — Calrissian (saying the same thing to Chewbacca that Solo told his co-pilot after they left Hoth base in the Falcon earlier in the film)

"They told me they fixed it! I trusted them to fix it! It's not my fault!" — Calrissian about the Falcon's hyperdrive

"I’m standing here in pieces and you’re having delusions of grandeur!" — Threepio

The cliff-hanger climax of "The Empire Strikes Back" is a bit of a downer.

It's not looking good for the main characters: The gang barely escapes Cloud City with their lives. Luke Skywalker had his right hand cut off and was battered and bruised during his lightsaber battle with Darth Vader; the Millennium Falcon's hyperdrive still isn't working just as the Empire is prepared to dispatch and landing party and Han Solo has been frozen in carbonite, about to be delivered to Jabba the Hutt by the bounty hunter Boba Fett.

But director Irvin Kershner ends his film with a sense of hope. Skywalker, who now has a synthetic arm, has a plan to meet on Tatooine once Calrissian and Chewbacca "find that bounty hunter." Threepio and Artoo are shiny and clean (as they always are at the end of each of the original "Star Wars" films!). And Princess Leia is as stunning looking as ever. (Check out the killer smile she gives Skywalker once Chewie gives her a don't-give-up growl!)

But more importantly, it's Calrissian — the man who made a deal with the Empire just before Solo and Co. arrived in Cloud City, only to turn the tables on the bad guys once he's pushed too far — who delivers the biggest hope of all when he tells Leia: "Princess, we'll find Han. I promise."

Now with that kind of ending, how can you not want to watch "Return of the Jedi"? Immediately! I know I will be today. …

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